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Alan, I hate to disappoint you, but I agree with you 100%.  You said exactly what I was thinking sitting through this movie.  Great CGI, cool effects, poor planning and story. 

 I was particularly blown away by your comment about their being too much in this movie.  I said the same thing to my wife when I got home.  The first thing I said to Jenn was actually “He [Bay] should have split this up into 2 movies.  There was too much going on, so much that he could never focus on any one specific thing long enough for you to get any form of attachment to anything”. 

One of the few things I liked was that Starscream and Megatron had their classic personalities and dynamic going on.  And Soundwave, who couldn’t love that guy.  I just wish we got a bit more of him. 

Things I hated:
Sideswipe:  All flash without an ounce of personality.   Uttering “I’m the shit yo” (or whatever the hell he said) after slicing Sideways in half within the first 2 minutes of the film doesn’t constitute character development. 
The Twins:  They had personality, but it was unbearable.  They were ignorant, annoying, offensive, and completely superfluous.  They didn’t add to the story in the least.  I found myself hoping that Devastator was going to eat both of them.
The Language:  You’re marketing a movie that’s based on toys FOR KIDS and a cartoon that’s shown TO KIDS about giant robots who interact with ….wait for it….KIDS, and you insert so much vulgarity and sexual overtones that no one in their right mind would bring their kid to see this movie.  The Derosby boys aren’t prudes.  We’re actually pretty vulgar and sarcastic most of the time, but I don’t swear in front of my kids.  And if I had to watch one more thing dry-humping another, I was going to walk out.  Could have done without seeing Devastator’s wrecking ballsack too.  Not necessary and only funny in an uncomfortable “what the f%^k…” kind of way.

The Plot:  Could we have an actual writer work on the next script please?  I know you spent a lot of money on CGI and marquee actors, but hiring a class of 5th graders to write the script for your summer blockbuster is the wrong way to try to come in under budget.  The studio will understand if you’re a few dollars over when the movie is raking in billions.  Please?  It never ceases to amaze me the poor quality of writing the major studios are willing to entertain in their summer blockbusters no less.   These writers don’t even seem to understand the basics of writing:  plot, character development, climax, resolution, some sense of continuity and structure.  Sometimes I think we Derosby brothers pursued the wrong career paths.

Megan Fox/Arcee:  You’ve created a “tough girl” character who could kick Sam’s ass 7 ways to Sunday.  Why is she being pulled along through this movie by the hand like a damsel in distress?  Same goes for Arcee and the Blachearts, the all-girl Autobot motorcycle rock band.  Perfect opportunity to show some female heroics.  In a movie flaunting two ignorant, offensive gangsta-stereotypes, the ladies could have had it worse I guess.

Continuity:  Maybe I’m mistaken, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that the construction vehicles that made up Devastator combined in one scene, then transformed into robots and followed Megatron on his siege of the dig site/village surrounding the Giza pyramids.  I hate to sound like a broken record, but one movie to tell the story of Megatron coming back, introducing Devastator, and the fall of Prime at the end would have been great.  The next movie could have continued with Devastator’s story and the quest for the matrix to wake up Optimus.

All in all, I walked away torn.  I love the Transformers (like you can’t tell from my previous posts on the subject) and was dazzled by some parts of this movie.  There was just too much bad outweighing the good.  Sorry folks.  It’s just my opinion, however.  I encourage you all to go out and see the movie and form your own opinions.  Thanks for letting me rant.

-CWD