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I know it’s a bit early to be showing you a new game, what with everybody running around the streets of Gotham City. Truth be told I’ve had the game since Tuesday and have yet to even start the game. But I did see this, a teaser trailer for the upcoming sequel to War for Cybertron, Transformers: Fall of Cybertron. It’s got all the spectacle and flash of the BayFormers but with the storyline and attention to Canon of both the original cartoon and comic series. Plus the Decepticons don’t look like pincushions. The story follows the last days of Cybertron, just prior to the Autobots climbing into the Ark and bailing for Earth.

This month’s GameInformer magazine has a great article on the game. Follow the link to check it out.

And of course, here’s the Teaser Trailer.  Dinobots, roll out!

Last night Boy and I attended the Summer “Blockbuster” Transformers:  Dark of the Moon, courtesy of free tickets given to us by my wife’s co-worker and best friend (thanks to Sue-Ellen & Jim).   I’d heard bad things and a few good things, (for the bad things, see the link below) but thought the price was right, no matter the quality of the movie.  My take?  That may very have been the most expensively polished turd I’ve ever seen on the silver screen.  Bay cut his teeth directing music videos and it shows more in this movie than any other.  I will give him this much, he provided some of the best action sequences and special effects I’ve seen to date.  The problem is that they’re tied together so loosely and poorly the movie has no backbone and barely stands under its own weight.

The way I explained it to my son was that this was the style for music videos in the 80′s and early ’90′s.  The director could string together a few random scenes that didn’t have to make much sense as the video was really about the song.  As music usually tells some sort of story (even if the message is extremely simplistic as it tended to be in the ’80′s), it did most of the work.  Take the song “Running down a Dream” for example.  The director could show shots of Tom Petty running down an alley, having a nightmare, rehearsing with the band, Tom in concert live on stage, a car chase, running in a field, a beautiful woman partially obscured in haze, and end it with Tom playing guitar in bed.  The viewer would tie the song to the images to figure out what’s going on.  This may be sufficient for a 5 minute music video (sometimes, there were occasions where even the viewer said “what the hell is going on here?”), but really doesn’t work for a 2 hour movie.  Bay obviously had a great idea for a plot, but had no idea how to tie it all together.  So all we’re left with are random shots to try to piecemeal together on our own.

Bay’s directorial weak points seem to be characterization, continuity, and humor.  I don’t think Bay has any idea how to develop characters other than through the path of the story, which limits any viewer attachment solely to the main character.  Tertiary characters were almost non-existent in this movie because they were just used as background.   There was very little fleshing-out of the characters, especially with most of the Transformers themselves.   You walk away from the movie knowing Sam, his girlfriend, and few others.  Some of the characters with the most potential, the new Autobots, Soundwave, and the new badass on the block Shockwave, received minimal screen time and were wasted on the story.

Bay’s attention to continuity was non-existent in Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen, and he continued the tradition in this film.  Characters disappeared for awhile (sometimes in mid-scene) then popped up an hour later as if they’d never left.  Scenes chopped from one to the next with no flow (getting back to the music video background I’d discussed earlier).  My son noticed that Bumblebee went from rescuing Sam to being captured with the other Autobots seconds later.  Bay tried to conceal this inadequacy with blinding flash of CGI, action, explosions, loud music, and metal flying in every direction.  To some degree it worked because it’s impossible to follow anything when being assaulted with that much sensory noise.  But the weak story couldn’t be hidden for long and I left the theater feeling cheated.

As in the second movie, I was unimpressed with Bay’s attempt at humor.  He tried a combination of potty humor an 8 year old boy would find hilarious, but mixed in the borderline gross sexual innuendo of a blue stand-up comedian, making the content unacceptable for the younger demographic who have more desire to see this movie and inclination to buy the tie-in merchandise.  Add to that the fact that every human antagonist for Sam came off as a lewd, creepy, perverted douchebag.  It’s like he took one antagonist character, ripped pages out of that script, and handed it to 5 actors, creating 4 new characters for the film just to add a few more big names to the credit roll.  Then there was Sam’s Girlfriend, newcomer Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (who for the record I didn’t think was all that hot) who seemed to be a bigger concern to Bay than say, telling a good story.  Nick’s first comment when leaving was “the movie was more about how hot she was than what was happening to the Transformers”.  That’s my boy.  I was proud of him when he caught that.  One shot of the girlfriend leaning over the hood of the car was enough.  We get it Mike, she’s hot.  Every scene she was in?  Overkill.  Add to that the fact that she’s a sub-par actress and not as hot as she thinks she is?  I say get rid of the girlfriend altogether and bring in a girl that can keep up with the boys.  How about wearing sneakers instead of heels when you’re running through a burning Chicago?

I’d heard that the first half of this movie was as bad as the second film, but the second half made up for that.  After seeing the movie, I disagree with that statement.  I thought the movie in its entirety was bad.  My friend Dave saw the film opening weekend and was rather vocal about his opinion, which I’ve got to agree with whole-heartedly.  Check out his review as well as it’s a riot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB6IhkoVUr0&feature=channel_video_title

The good news is Bay’s control over the franchise is at an end.  The bad news is the movie made so much money that Hollywood thinks the guy craps gold.  I’m guessing he’ll turn up in another year or so to destroy another childhood memory.

I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but this looks like it might make up for that last movie. You know, the one that transformed from a summer blockbuster into a multi-million dollar steaming turd right in front of our eyes.

You’ve got Autobots, Decepticons, planetary conquest, Laserbeak (jury’s still out on whether or not that’s a good thing), Shockwave (most definitely a good thing), and most importantly what appears to be a PLOT! What more can you ask for? How about not having to see Michael Bay soil himself onscreen after paying $25 for tickets for Boy and myself? Not too much to ask, right?

Thanks to Transformers World 2005 for posting up this picture, a shot of the toy for the big villain in the upcoming Transformers movie.  As I’ve said in previous posts, I’m hesitant to get my hopes up.  I remember being equally psyched when I found those leaked pictures of Devastator, only to have them crushed to see Michael Bay lay a digital turd and smear it all over the big screen.  Devastator’s balls?  Really?

….but this is Shockwave, and he looks way better than the new Megatron figure.  I like the cape for Megs, but the robot form just isn’t right.

Sean Bean plays bad so well.  Even better, I think he’s perfect in the role of the protagonist who’s struggling with the tendency to be a dirtbag.  He walks the fine line like few other actors currently in the business.  And of course in films made in the the good ol’ US of A nothing enhances a bad guy’s schtick like a British accent.  Even Disney figured this one out. 

This movie looks good because it looks like there’s a lot of gray area as far as who deserves sympathy in this film.  I love a film that doesn’t lay it all out in black and white for the viewer.  I think I may have to see this one.

Click on the movie poster below to link to the trailer.  And as always, thanks AppleMovieTrailers.com.

Click on the image to jump to the trailer

I realize it’s been a few weeks, but here are the new Decepticons that will join the roster in this summer’s sure-to-be blockbuster.  I apologize in advance for the large Photoshopped compilation image.  I couldn’t post all of the pictures individually for some reason. 

Soundwave:  One of the original G1 Transformers.  He was the intelligence gatherer for Megatron.  He transformed into the “boombox” (not what we called it when we went to the old school, but whatever) and had a complement of cassette tapes that transformed into his little henchmen.  Frenzy from the original movie was one of them.  Ravage, who does appear in this movie, was another.  Despite the fact that he had no personality to speak of on the original show, and sounded like a Cylon Centurion from the ’70′s series Battlestar Galactica, he remains a fan favorite to this day.  Rumor has it Frank Welker, the original voice of Starscream, will be lending his voice for this movie. 

Ravage:  Ravage was one of Soundwave’s cassette tapes and was another fan favorite as the first Transformer with an organic-looking second form, a panther (with rocket launcher/jets jutting from his hind end).  He made a surprise appearance in the “Beast Wars” series as an agent for Cybertron (Autobots and Decepticons had come to a tentative peace agreement) hunting down Decepticon stragglers, specifically the ghost of Starscream.

Wheelie:  Made his first appearance in the original movie as a little Autobot “feral child”.   From what I’ve found he is a turncoat working for the Decepticons. 

The Doctor:  Don’t really know much about him, but if you’ve tuned for my earlier posts, you know my prediction is that he’s an Insecticon.  From the quick images in the various trailers of Sam strapped to what looks like an operating table with a multi-legged robot hovering over him, my guess is he’s a Dr. Mengele-like evil scientist character. 

Devastator:  The 6 Constructicons were introduced to help Megatron build his space bridge on earth.  When the autobots showed up to put an end to it, they were in for a surprise.  The 6 Decepticons had an alternate form, combining to form the mighty Devastator, a gigantic construction-green behemoth and the most powerful Decepticon foe they had ever faced (until the next season).  The Autobots called in their newly-created (and newly-decommissioned for all the trouble they’d caused) Dinobots to save the day.  Back when we first got word Bay was making the Transformers sequel, the two big rumors I kept hearing were that Dinobots and Devastator would be making appearances in this movie.  One of those appears to be true.

That’s all for now.  Thanks for tuning in.

-CWD

I’m sure a few of you have seen this already but I hadn’t until this morning.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, Optimus Prime is forced to combine with Autobot Jetfire in order to stand up to the Decepticon/Fallen threats that arise in this movie.  Attached is a pic of Optimus in his ”Combined” form.  Enjoy.

-CWD

I’d like to profile some of the new characters in the upcoming movie Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen with quick little bios and pictures of each.  Please note that these pictures may or may not be accurate to what ends up represented in the upcoming movie.  Not that it’s an entirely bad thing.  I’m not one of the fanboy purists that has put a 30 minute-a-week serial commercial from our childhood on an artistic pedestal.  I loved the show, toys, and the characters as much as or more than almost anybody (at 150 or so of G1, G2, and G3 TF’s in my collection, I think I my opinion counts for something).  I thought some of the ideas and concepts the writers came up with for a kids cartoon were groundbreaking.  But at the end of the day, the show was licensed by a TOY COMPANY to sell product and gain marketshare for the independent TV stations that filled their line-ups with syndicated shows and reruns.  Okay, let’s kick away the soap box and begin.

Let’s start with the new Autobots that will join the roster in this summer’s sure-to-be blockbuster.  I apologize in advance for the large Photoshopped compilation image.  I couldn’t post all of the pictures individually for some reason. 

Sideswipe:  One of the original “Twins” with his brother Sunstreaker.  They were both Lamborghinis but didn’t look a thing alike in robot mode.  Didn’t even make sense to me when I was a kid, so I can’t explain it now.  Was one of the original G1 (generation 1) figures but played a minor role in the cartoon series.

Arcee:  She was one of the main characters in the original animated Transformers the Motion Picture, but wasn’t the original female autobot.  Alita One, a leader of a rebel all-female Autobot resistance squad and former GF of Optimus Prime, appeared on the show about a year or so before the movie was released.  As the first female headliner in the TF world, she became a big hit that Hasbro could have capitalized on with a figure.  Unhortunately, the only figure of Arcee that was released was a fan-designed “kit” that was not endorsed or designed by the toy manufacturer.  Most likely, she’s going to be used in a Bumblebee-type pairing with Megan Fox’s character in the movie. 

Jetfire:  Along with Shockwave and Omega Supreme, he heralded the release of the G2 transformers.   With removable body armor and sleek “alien” aircraft design, he looked more Robotech that TF.  In the cartoon, he made his appearance as a Decepticon defector.  A pacifist, scientist, and former friend and colleague to Starscream, Jetfire couldn’t conform to Megatron’s ideals and instead took up the cause of the Autobots.  All I’ve heard about the Michael Bay incarnation of this character is that he’s an old warhorse and walks around with a cane.  The only images I could find were pictures of the SR-71 Blackbird and some apparently bootleg snapshots of the new action figure in various stages of its’ design.

 Jolt:   Has had many incarnations over the years, from a mini Decepticon race car to a mini-con in the Cybertron and Energon series (a small transforming robot that can attach to the transformers for different power boosts).  In the movie, he’s an autobot, he’s blue, and there haven’t been many released images of him either.  Chevy has an entire page on the TF:  ROTF website dedicated to the Autobot vehicles that fall into their brand, but no robot form images have been released to date.

The Twins, Skids and Mudflap:  I know little about these characters as well.  What little information I’ve read has relegated them to the roles of comic relief.  As they are twins, my best guess is they’ll spend the movie making everybody laugh at their antics, only to have one of them sacrificed in a moment of bravery. 

Tune in later this week.  I’ll update again with the Decepticons that will be appearing.  Thanks for tuning in.  The three of us really appreciate the increasing number of visitors to our website.  We hope we’re providing enough of our brand of humor and useless information to keep our “regulars” happy and returning.  Please, feel free to comment, tell us what you think, add something we may have forgotten, correct us, or just say “hi”. 

-CWD