The way I explained it to my son was that this was the style for music videos in the 80′s and early ’90′s.  The director could string together a few random scenes that didn’t have to make much sense as the video was really about the song.  As music usually tells some sort of story (even if the message is extremely simplistic as it tended to be in the ’80′s), it did most of the work.  Take the song “Running down a Dream” for example.  The director could show shots of Tom Petty running down an alley, having a nightmare, rehearsing with the band, Tom in concert live on stage, a car chase, running in a field, a beautiful woman partially obscured in haze, and end it with Tom playing guitar in bed.  The viewer would tie the song to the images to figure out what’s going on.  This may be sufficient for a 5 minute music video (sometimes, there were occasions where even the viewer said “what the hell is going on here?”), but really doesn’t work for a 2 hour movie.  Bay obviously had a great idea for a plot, but had no idea how to tie it all together.  So all we’re left with are random shots to try to piecemeal together on our own.

Bay’s directorial weak points seem to be characterization, continuity, and humor.  I don’t think Bay has any idea how to develop characters other than through the path of the story, which limits any viewer attachment solely to the main character.  Tertiary characters were almost non-existent in this movie because they were just used as background.   There was very little fleshing-out of the characters, especially with most of the Transformers themselves.   You walk away from the movie knowing Sam, his girlfriend, and few others.  Some of the characters with the most potential, the new Autobots, Soundwave, and the new badass on the block Shockwave, received minimal screen time and were wasted on the story.

Bay’s attention to continuity was non-existent in Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen, and he continued the tradition in this film.  Characters disappeared for awhile (sometimes in mid-scene) then popped up an hour later as if they’d never left.  Scenes chopped from one to the next with no flow (getting back to the music video background I’d discussed earlier).  My son noticed that Bumblebee went from rescuing Sam to being captured with the other Autobots seconds later.  Bay tried to conceal this inadequacy with blinding flash of CGI, action, explosions, loud music, and metal flying in every direction.  To some degree it worked because it’s impossible to follow anything when being assaulted with that much sensory noise.  But the weak story couldn’t be hidden for long and I left the theater feeling cheated.

As in the second movie, I was unimpressed with Bay’s attempt at humor.  He tried a combination of potty humor an 8 year old boy would find hilarious, but mixed in the borderline gross sexual innuendo of a blue stand-up comedian, making the content unacceptable for the younger demographic who have more desire to see this movie and inclination to buy the tie-in merchandise.  Add to that the fact that every human antagonist for Sam came off as a lewd, creepy, perverted douchebag.  It’s like he took one antagonist character, ripped pages out of that script, and handed it to 5 actors, creating 4 new characters for the film just to add a few more big names to the credit roll.  Then there was Sam’s Girlfriend, newcomer Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (who for the record I didn’t think was all that hot) who seemed to be a bigger concern to Bay than say, telling a good story.  Nick’s first comment when leaving was “the movie was more about how hot she was than what was happening to the Transformers”.  That’s my boy.  I was proud of him when he caught that.  One shot of the girlfriend leaning over the hood of the car was enough.  We get it Mike, she’s hot.  Every scene she was in?  Overkill.  Add to that the fact that she’s a sub-par actress and not as hot as she thinks she is?  I say get rid of the girlfriend altogether and bring in a girl that can keep up with the boys.  How about wearing sneakers instead of heels when you’re running through a burning Chicago?

I’d heard that the first half of this movie was as bad as the second film, but the second half made up for that.  After seeing the movie, I disagree with that statement.  I thought the movie in its entirety was bad.  My friend Dave saw the film opening weekend and was rather vocal about his opinion, which I’ve got to agree with whole-heartedly.  Check out his review as well as it’s a riot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB6IhkoVUr0&feature=channel_video_title

The good news is Bay’s control over the franchise is at an end.  The bad news is the movie made so much money that Hollywood thinks the guy craps gold.  I’m guessing he’ll turn up in another year or so to destroy another childhood memory.

I don’t want to get sucked into this one like I did Revenge of the Fallen, but it sounds like Michael Bay DID listen to us, and may have learned from his mistakes (although he does make a few excuses during the interview). 

Click on the link or the image below to read the interview.   Thanks to Entertainment Weekly for the post.

Click on the image to read the interview with Michael Bay

http://insidemovies.ew.com/2011/04/15/transformers-3-details-michael-bay/

I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but this looks like it might make up for that last movie. You know, the one that transformed from a summer blockbuster into a multi-million dollar steaming turd right in front of our eyes.

You’ve got Autobots, Decepticons, planetary conquest, Laserbeak (jury’s still out on whether or not that’s a good thing), Shockwave (most definitely a good thing), and most importantly what appears to be a PLOT! What more can you ask for? How about not having to see Michael Bay soil himself onscreen after paying $25 for tickets for Boy and myself? Not too much to ask, right?

….but this is Shockwave, and he looks way better than the new Megatron figure.  I like the cape for Megs, but the robot form just isn’t right.

Okay enough of that.  After seeing the last one (and Michael Bay’s idea of humor), for all we know this is Megatron’s Mom, a mustachioed senorita with a bad attitude, voiced by none other than Estelle Harris (George’s Mom from Seinfeld).

Well, click on the image below and see for yourself.  It does look pretty sweet. 

Click here to see the trailer for Transformers: Dark of the Moon

...Is this who I think it is? Better not be Estelle.

And here’s a closer look at the mysterious new Transformer. 

Thanks to Apple Movie Trailers.com for posting this.

Alan, I hate to disappoint you, but I agree with you 100%.  You said exactly what I was thinking sitting through this movie.  Great CGI, cool effects, poor planning and story. 

 I was particularly blown away by your comment about their being too much in this movie.  I said the same thing to my wife when I got home.  The first thing I said to Jenn was actually “He [Bay] should have split this up into 2 movies.  There was too much going on, so much that he could never focus on any one specific thing long enough for you to get any form of attachment to anything”. 

One of the few things I liked was that Starscream and Megatron had their classic personalities and dynamic going on.  And Soundwave, who couldn’t love that guy.  I just wish we got a bit more of him. 

Things I hated:
Sideswipe:  All flash without an ounce of personality.   Uttering “I’m the shit yo” (or whatever the hell he said) after slicing Sideways in half within the first 2 minutes of the film doesn’t constitute character development. 
The Twins:  They had personality, but it was unbearable.  They were ignorant, annoying, offensive, and completely superfluous.  They didn’t add to the story in the least.  I found myself hoping that Devastator was going to eat both of them.
The Language:  You’re marketing a movie that’s based on toys FOR KIDS and a cartoon that’s shown TO KIDS about giant robots who interact with ….wait for it….KIDS, and you insert so much vulgarity and sexual overtones that no one in their right mind would bring their kid to see this movie.  The Derosby boys aren’t prudes.  We’re actually pretty vulgar and sarcastic most of the time, but I don’t swear in front of my kids.  And if I had to watch one more thing dry-humping another, I was going to walk out.  Could have done without seeing Devastator’s wrecking ballsack too.  Not necessary and only funny in an uncomfortable “what the f%^k…” kind of way.

The Plot:  Could we have an actual writer work on the next script please?  I know you spent a lot of money on CGI and marquee actors, but hiring a class of 5th graders to write the script for your summer blockbuster is the wrong way to try to come in under budget.  The studio will understand if you’re a few dollars over when the movie is raking in billions.  Please?  It never ceases to amaze me the poor quality of writing the major studios are willing to entertain in their summer blockbusters no less.   These writers don’t even seem to understand the basics of writing:  plot, character development, climax, resolution, some sense of continuity and structure.  Sometimes I think we Derosby brothers pursued the wrong career paths.

Megan Fox/Arcee:  You’ve created a “tough girl” character who could kick Sam’s ass 7 ways to Sunday.  Why is she being pulled along through this movie by the hand like a damsel in distress?  Same goes for Arcee and the Blachearts, the all-girl Autobot motorcycle rock band.  Perfect opportunity to show some female heroics.  In a movie flaunting two ignorant, offensive gangsta-stereotypes, the ladies could have had it worse I guess.

Continuity:  Maybe I’m mistaken, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that the construction vehicles that made up Devastator combined in one scene, then transformed into robots and followed Megatron on his siege of the dig site/village surrounding the Giza pyramids.  I hate to sound like a broken record, but one movie to tell the story of Megatron coming back, introducing Devastator, and the fall of Prime at the end would have been great.  The next movie could have continued with Devastator’s story and the quest for the matrix to wake up Optimus.

All in all, I walked away torn.  I love the Transformers (like you can’t tell from my previous posts on the subject) and was dazzled by some parts of this movie.  There was just too much bad outweighing the good.  Sorry folks.  It’s just my opinion, however.  I encourage you all to go out and see the movie and form your own opinions.  Thanks for letting me rant.

-CWD

Let’s start with the new Autobots that will join the roster in this summer’s sure-to-be blockbuster.  I apologize in advance for the large Photoshopped compilation image.  I couldn’t post all of the pictures individually for some reason. 

Sideswipe:  One of the original “Twins” with his brother Sunstreaker.  They were both Lamborghinis but didn’t look a thing alike in robot mode.  Didn’t even make sense to me when I was a kid, so I can’t explain it now.  Was one of the original G1 (generation 1) figures but played a minor role in the cartoon series.

Arcee:  She was one of the main characters in the original animated Transformers the Motion Picture, but wasn’t the original female autobot.  Alita One, a leader of a rebel all-female Autobot resistance squad and former GF of Optimus Prime, appeared on the show about a year or so before the movie was released.  As the first female headliner in the TF world, she became a big hit that Hasbro could have capitalized on with a figure.  Unhortunately, the only figure of Arcee that was released was a fan-designed “kit” that was not endorsed or designed by the toy manufacturer.  Most likely, she’s going to be used in a Bumblebee-type pairing with Megan Fox’s character in the movie. 

Jetfire:  Along with Shockwave and Omega Supreme, he heralded the release of the G2 transformers.   With removable body armor and sleek “alien” aircraft design, he looked more Robotech that TF.  In the cartoon, he made his appearance as a Decepticon defector.  A pacifist, scientist, and former friend and colleague to Starscream, Jetfire couldn’t conform to Megatron’s ideals and instead took up the cause of the Autobots.  All I’ve heard about the Michael Bay incarnation of this character is that he’s an old warhorse and walks around with a cane.  The only images I could find were pictures of the SR-71 Blackbird and some apparently bootleg snapshots of the new action figure in various stages of its’ design.

 Jolt:   Has had many incarnations over the years, from a mini Decepticon race car to a mini-con in the Cybertron and Energon series (a small transforming robot that can attach to the transformers for different power boosts).  In the movie, he’s an autobot, he’s blue, and there haven’t been many released images of him either.  Chevy has an entire page on the TF:  ROTF website dedicated to the Autobot vehicles that fall into their brand, but no robot form images have been released to date.

The Twins, Skids and Mudflap:  I know little about these characters as well.  What little information I’ve read has relegated them to the roles of comic relief.  As they are twins, my best guess is they’ll spend the movie making everybody laugh at their antics, only to have one of them sacrificed in a moment of bravery. 

Tune in later this week.  I’ll update again with the Decepticons that will be appearing.  Thanks for tuning in.  The three of us really appreciate the increasing number of visitors to our website.  We hope we’re providing enough of our brand of humor and useless information to keep our “regulars” happy and returning.  Please, feel free to comment, tell us what you think, add something we may have forgotten, correct us, or just say “hi”. 

-CWD

Starscream making his appearance

Keith sent this to me last night, and this may be the best thing I’ve watched in months. I could also be exaggerating just a bit, but who cares, watch the damn video.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809943432/video/13222062

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen NEW TRAILER

A week or so ago, Dreamworks Pictures released a tentative list of the new Transformers that will appear in the movie.  I say “tentative” because if you’ve watched the trailer posted above, you’ll notice they left at least one major character off the list.  Up until this video was released, Michael Bay was insistent that Megatron wouldn’t be in this movie.  This was despite reports that Hugo Weaving (of the Matrix and Lord of the Rings fame) had already been in the studio recording his voice track for the movie.  I guess my point is to take this list with a grain of salt.  Mr. Bay admitted he’d be spreading misinformation to keep fans guessing, and he’s definitely done that, creating hype and keeping people entertained up to a year before the movie release date.

If you watch this trailer and the full teaser trailer that was released prior to this one, you’ll see some of these characters, specifically the twins, sideswipe (silver sports car), some of the constructicons, and the doctor.  Now I’d like to comment on him because to me, he looks rather insect like.  The trailer also shows some quick clips of insect-like robots flying around, and of Sam looking at one trapped between his index finger and thumb.  Looks like we might have INSECTICONS in this movie as well.  I’ll go on record with that prediction.  As I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere yet, I’ll say with little problem “you heard it here first, folks”.   If I’m wrong…..let’s just all forget this ever happened.   I’ll try to come back later this weekend with another post highlighting the individual characters on the list.  Stay tuned. 

-CWD

The Doctor....Insecticon Anyone?