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I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but this looks like it might make up for that last movie. You know, the one that transformed from a summer blockbuster into a multi-million dollar steaming turd right in front of our eyes.

You’ve got Autobots, Decepticons, planetary conquest, Laserbeak (jury’s still out on whether or not that’s a good thing), Shockwave (most definitely a good thing), and most importantly what appears to be a PLOT! What more can you ask for? How about not having to see Michael Bay soil himself onscreen after paying $25 for tickets for Boy and myself? Not too much to ask, right?

Alan, I hate to disappoint you, but I agree with you 100%.  You said exactly what I was thinking sitting through this movie.  Great CGI, cool effects, poor planning and story. 

 I was particularly blown away by your comment about their being too much in this movie.  I said the same thing to my wife when I got home.  The first thing I said to Jenn was actually “He [Bay] should have split this up into 2 movies.  There was too much going on, so much that he could never focus on any one specific thing long enough for you to get any form of attachment to anything”. 

One of the few things I liked was that Starscream and Megatron had their classic personalities and dynamic going on.  And Soundwave, who couldn’t love that guy.  I just wish we got a bit more of him. 

Things I hated:
Sideswipe:  All flash without an ounce of personality.   Uttering “I’m the shit yo” (or whatever the hell he said) after slicing Sideways in half within the first 2 minutes of the film doesn’t constitute character development. 
The Twins:  They had personality, but it was unbearable.  They were ignorant, annoying, offensive, and completely superfluous.  They didn’t add to the story in the least.  I found myself hoping that Devastator was going to eat both of them.
The Language:  You’re marketing a movie that’s based on toys FOR KIDS and a cartoon that’s shown TO KIDS about giant robots who interact with ….wait for it….KIDS, and you insert so much vulgarity and sexual overtones that no one in their right mind would bring their kid to see this movie.  The Derosby boys aren’t prudes.  We’re actually pretty vulgar and sarcastic most of the time, but I don’t swear in front of my kids.  And if I had to watch one more thing dry-humping another, I was going to walk out.  Could have done without seeing Devastator’s wrecking ballsack too.  Not necessary and only funny in an uncomfortable “what the f%^k…” kind of way.

The Plot:  Could we have an actual writer work on the next script please?  I know you spent a lot of money on CGI and marquee actors, but hiring a class of 5th graders to write the script for your summer blockbuster is the wrong way to try to come in under budget.  The studio will understand if you’re a few dollars over when the movie is raking in billions.  Please?  It never ceases to amaze me the poor quality of writing the major studios are willing to entertain in their summer blockbusters no less.   These writers don’t even seem to understand the basics of writing:  plot, character development, climax, resolution, some sense of continuity and structure.  Sometimes I think we Derosby brothers pursued the wrong career paths.

Megan Fox/Arcee:  You’ve created a “tough girl” character who could kick Sam’s ass 7 ways to Sunday.  Why is she being pulled along through this movie by the hand like a damsel in distress?  Same goes for Arcee and the Blachearts, the all-girl Autobot motorcycle rock band.  Perfect opportunity to show some female heroics.  In a movie flaunting two ignorant, offensive gangsta-stereotypes, the ladies could have had it worse I guess.

Continuity:  Maybe I’m mistaken, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that the construction vehicles that made up Devastator combined in one scene, then transformed into robots and followed Megatron on his siege of the dig site/village surrounding the Giza pyramids.  I hate to sound like a broken record, but one movie to tell the story of Megatron coming back, introducing Devastator, and the fall of Prime at the end would have been great.  The next movie could have continued with Devastator’s story and the quest for the matrix to wake up Optimus.

All in all, I walked away torn.  I love the Transformers (like you can’t tell from my previous posts on the subject) and was dazzled by some parts of this movie.  There was just too much bad outweighing the good.  Sorry folks.  It’s just my opinion, however.  I encourage you all to go out and see the movie and form your own opinions.  Thanks for letting me rant.

-CWD

I realize it’s been a few weeks, but here are the new Decepticons that will join the roster in this summer’s sure-to-be blockbuster.  I apologize in advance for the large Photoshopped compilation image.  I couldn’t post all of the pictures individually for some reason. 

Soundwave:  One of the original G1 Transformers.  He was the intelligence gatherer for Megatron.  He transformed into the “boombox” (not what we called it when we went to the old school, but whatever) and had a complement of cassette tapes that transformed into his little henchmen.  Frenzy from the original movie was one of them.  Ravage, who does appear in this movie, was another.  Despite the fact that he had no personality to speak of on the original show, and sounded like a Cylon Centurion from the ’70′s series Battlestar Galactica, he remains a fan favorite to this day.  Rumor has it Frank Welker, the original voice of Starscream, will be lending his voice for this movie. 

Ravage:  Ravage was one of Soundwave’s cassette tapes and was another fan favorite as the first Transformer with an organic-looking second form, a panther (with rocket launcher/jets jutting from his hind end).  He made a surprise appearance in the “Beast Wars” series as an agent for Cybertron (Autobots and Decepticons had come to a tentative peace agreement) hunting down Decepticon stragglers, specifically the ghost of Starscream.

Wheelie:  Made his first appearance in the original movie as a little Autobot “feral child”.   From what I’ve found he is a turncoat working for the Decepticons. 

The Doctor:  Don’t really know much about him, but if you’ve tuned for my earlier posts, you know my prediction is that he’s an Insecticon.  From the quick images in the various trailers of Sam strapped to what looks like an operating table with a multi-legged robot hovering over him, my guess is he’s a Dr. Mengele-like evil scientist character. 

Devastator:  The 6 Constructicons were introduced to help Megatron build his space bridge on earth.  When the autobots showed up to put an end to it, they were in for a surprise.  The 6 Decepticons had an alternate form, combining to form the mighty Devastator, a gigantic construction-green behemoth and the most powerful Decepticon foe they had ever faced (until the next season).  The Autobots called in their newly-created (and newly-decommissioned for all the trouble they’d caused) Dinobots to save the day.  Back when we first got word Bay was making the Transformers sequel, the two big rumors I kept hearing were that Dinobots and Devastator would be making appearances in this movie.  One of those appears to be true.

That’s all for now.  Thanks for tuning in.

-CWD

I’d like to profile some of the new characters in the upcoming movie Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen with quick little bios and pictures of each.  Please note that these pictures may or may not be accurate to what ends up represented in the upcoming movie.  Not that it’s an entirely bad thing.  I’m not one of the fanboy purists that has put a 30 minute-a-week serial commercial from our childhood on an artistic pedestal.  I loved the show, toys, and the characters as much as or more than almost anybody (at 150 or so of G1, G2, and G3 TF’s in my collection, I think I my opinion counts for something).  I thought some of the ideas and concepts the writers came up with for a kids cartoon were groundbreaking.  But at the end of the day, the show was licensed by a TOY COMPANY to sell product and gain marketshare for the independent TV stations that filled their line-ups with syndicated shows and reruns.  Okay, let’s kick away the soap box and begin.

Let’s start with the new Autobots that will join the roster in this summer’s sure-to-be blockbuster.  I apologize in advance for the large Photoshopped compilation image.  I couldn’t post all of the pictures individually for some reason. 

Sideswipe:  One of the original “Twins” with his brother Sunstreaker.  They were both Lamborghinis but didn’t look a thing alike in robot mode.  Didn’t even make sense to me when I was a kid, so I can’t explain it now.  Was one of the original G1 (generation 1) figures but played a minor role in the cartoon series.

Arcee:  She was one of the main characters in the original animated Transformers the Motion Picture, but wasn’t the original female autobot.  Alita One, a leader of a rebel all-female Autobot resistance squad and former GF of Optimus Prime, appeared on the show about a year or so before the movie was released.  As the first female headliner in the TF world, she became a big hit that Hasbro could have capitalized on with a figure.  Unhortunately, the only figure of Arcee that was released was a fan-designed “kit” that was not endorsed or designed by the toy manufacturer.  Most likely, she’s going to be used in a Bumblebee-type pairing with Megan Fox’s character in the movie. 

Jetfire:  Along with Shockwave and Omega Supreme, he heralded the release of the G2 transformers.   With removable body armor and sleek “alien” aircraft design, he looked more Robotech that TF.  In the cartoon, he made his appearance as a Decepticon defector.  A pacifist, scientist, and former friend and colleague to Starscream, Jetfire couldn’t conform to Megatron’s ideals and instead took up the cause of the Autobots.  All I’ve heard about the Michael Bay incarnation of this character is that he’s an old warhorse and walks around with a cane.  The only images I could find were pictures of the SR-71 Blackbird and some apparently bootleg snapshots of the new action figure in various stages of its’ design.

 Jolt:   Has had many incarnations over the years, from a mini Decepticon race car to a mini-con in the Cybertron and Energon series (a small transforming robot that can attach to the transformers for different power boosts).  In the movie, he’s an autobot, he’s blue, and there haven’t been many released images of him either.  Chevy has an entire page on the TF:  ROTF website dedicated to the Autobot vehicles that fall into their brand, but no robot form images have been released to date.

The Twins, Skids and Mudflap:  I know little about these characters as well.  What little information I’ve read has relegated them to the roles of comic relief.  As they are twins, my best guess is they’ll spend the movie making everybody laugh at their antics, only to have one of them sacrificed in a moment of bravery. 

Tune in later this week.  I’ll update again with the Decepticons that will be appearing.  Thanks for tuning in.  The three of us really appreciate the increasing number of visitors to our website.  We hope we’re providing enough of our brand of humor and useless information to keep our “regulars” happy and returning.  Please, feel free to comment, tell us what you think, add something we may have forgotten, correct us, or just say “hi”. 

-CWD

Starscream making his appearance

Keith sent this to me last night, and this may be the best thing I’ve watched in months. I could also be exaggerating just a bit, but who cares, watch the damn video.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809943432/video/13222062

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen NEW TRAILER

A week or so ago, Dreamworks Pictures released a tentative list of the new Transformers that will appear in the movie.  I say “tentative” because if you’ve watched the trailer posted above, you’ll notice they left at least one major character off the list.  Up until this video was released, Michael Bay was insistent that Megatron wouldn’t be in this movie.  This was despite reports that Hugo Weaving (of the Matrix and Lord of the Rings fame) had already been in the studio recording his voice track for the movie.  I guess my point is to take this list with a grain of salt.  Mr. Bay admitted he’d be spreading misinformation to keep fans guessing, and he’s definitely done that, creating hype and keeping people entertained up to a year before the movie release date.

If you watch this trailer and the full teaser trailer that was released prior to this one, you’ll see some of these characters, specifically the twins, sideswipe (silver sports car), some of the constructicons, and the doctor.  Now I’d like to comment on him because to me, he looks rather insect like.  The trailer also shows some quick clips of insect-like robots flying around, and of Sam looking at one trapped between his index finger and thumb.  Looks like we might have INSECTICONS in this movie as well.  I’ll go on record with that prediction.  As I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere yet, I’ll say with little problem “you heard it here first, folks”.   If I’m wrong…..let’s just all forget this ever happened.   I’ll try to come back later this weekend with another post highlighting the individual characters on the list.  Stay tuned. 

-CWD

The Doctor....Insecticon Anyone?